Spamalot Lyrics
Taken from the "Monty Python's Spamalot (2005 Original Broadway Cast)" album.
Tuning
Overture
Historian's Introduction to Act I
Finland/Fish Schlapping Dance
Monks' Chant/He is Not Yet Dead
Come With Me
Laker Girls' Cheer
The Song That Goes Like This
He Is Not Yet Dead - Play Off
All For One
Knights of the Round Table/The Song That Goes Like This (Reprise)
Find Your Grail
Run Away!
Intermission
Historian's Introduction to Act II
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Brave Sir Robin
You Won't Succeed on Broadway
Diva's Lament
Where Are You?
His Name is Lancelot
I'm All Alone
Twice in Every Show
Act II Finale
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - Company Bow
Tuning
Conductor: (coughs) Hello? Are you ready?
Muffled Voice: Yes!
Conductor: Then we'll begin.
Overture
(Instrumental)
Historian's Introduction to Act I
Historian: (spoken) England, 932 A.D. A kingdom divided. To the West, the Anglo-Saxons.
To the East, the French. Above, nothing but Celts and some people from Scotland.
In Guinard, Palace, and Difford; Plague. In the kingdoms of Wessex, Sussex, Essex and Kent; Plague. In Mercia, and the two Anglias: Plague, with a 50% chance of pestilence and famine coming out of the Northeast at twelve miles per hour.
Legend tells us of an extraordanairy leader who arose from the chaos to unite a troubled kingdom. A man with a vision, who gathered knights together in a Holy Quest. This man was Arthur, King of the Britons, for this was England!
Finland/Fish Schlapping Dance
Ensemble: Finland, Finland, Finland! That's the country for me!
Mayor: Finland is the country where we dance,
Finland is the country where we play.
Here in Finland boy and girl can find a true romance,
In traditional Scandinavian vay!
Ensemble: Schlip! Schlap!
Mayor: Schlip-a-schlap-a vay.
Ensemble: Schlip! Schlap!
Mayor: Schlap away all day.
Ensemble: Schlip! Schlap!
Mayor: You simply can't go wrong,
Vith traditional fish-schlapping song.
Ensemble: Finland, Finland, Finland!
Men: The country where I quite want to be...
Solo 1: Pony trekking,
Solo 2: Or camping!
Ensemble: Or just watching TV!
Finland, Finland, Finland!
That's the country for me!
Historian: (spoken) I said England!
Monks' Chant/He is Not Yet Dead
Monks: Sacrosanctus Domine,
Pecavi ignoviunt.
Iuesus Christus Domine,
Pax vobiscum venerunt.
Robin: (spoken) Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead!
Lancelot: (spoken) Here's one.
Fred: (spoken) I'm not dead!
Robin: (spoken) Here, he says he's not dead!
Lancelot: (spoken) Yes, he is.
Fred: (spoken) I feel happy. I feel happy!
I am not dead yet,
I can dance and I can sing.
I am not dead yet,
I can do the highland fling.
I am not dead yet,
No need to go to bed,
No need to call the doctor,
'Cos I'm not yet dead!
Corpses: He is not yet dead,
That's what the geezer said.
Oh, he's not yet dead,
That man is off his head.
He is not yet dead,
Put him back in bed,
Keep him off the cart,
Because he's not yet dead!
(Clunk)
Corpses: Well now he's dead,
You whacked him on the head.
Sure now he's dead,
It makes me just see red.
You are such a brute,
To murder that old coot,
You homicidal bastard,
Now he's really dead!
Who is the knave (who is he) who put him in his grave,
And who needs to manage his anger?
Lancelot: My name is Lancelot,
I'm big and strong and hot.
Occasionally I do,
Some things that I should not.
Robin: I want to be a knight,
But I don't like to fight.
I'm rather scared I may,
Just simply run away.
Lancelot: I'll be right with you, Robin,
Through and through and through!
So stick with me,
And I'll show you what to do!
Both: We'll remain good chums,
Lancelot: You can teach me how to dance!
Both: We're going to enlist,
Robin: I'm Robin,
Lancelot: And I'm Lance!
All: Oh we're off to war,
Because we're not yet dead.
We will all enlist,
As the Knights that Arthur led.
Fred: I am coming too,
My name will be Sir Fred.
I'll be your musician,
Cos I'm not yet dead!
(Together)
(Corpses: Oh we're not dead yet,
To Camelot we go!
To enlist instead,
To try and earn some dough.
And so although,
We should have stayed in bed,
We're going off to war,
Because we're not yet dead!)
(Lance: To kill!
I will!
It gives me such a thrill!
Robin: To sing,
And dance!
And keep an eye on Lance!)
All: We're going off to war,
We'll have girlfriends by the score.
Fred: We'll be shot by Michael Moore!
All: Because we're not yet...
(Clunk)
All: Dead! Not yet dead!
Come With Me
Arthur: (spoken) Oh, Lady of the Lake. Please reveal to this doubting Dennis that you are real.
Dennis: (spoken) Cor, Blimey!
Laker Girls: Ah...
Lady: Come with me, come with me.
Come with me, sweet Galahad.
You'll be a man, join Arthur's clan.
Come with me, and I will make you glad.
Galahad, sweet Galahad!
Be a knight, It's time to take your vow!
If you come with me now,
I'll show you how.
Dennis: Oh, wow!
Arthur: (spoken) Stand aside, Mrs. Galahad, while the Lady of the Lake and her Laker Girls welcome your son to my army.
Laker Girls' Cheer
Arthur: I am Arthur King of the Britons,
And we’re seeking men who are able.
And so we’re recruiting Dennis,
To sit at our very, very, very round table.
Ready?
Laker Girls: OK!
K.I.N. G.A.R.
T.H.U.R. Arthur!
K.I.N. G.A.R.
T.H.U.R. Arthur!
Arthur King!
Arthur King!
The biggest and the coolest thing!
Arthur: Who’s the King?
Laker Girls: You are!
Arthur: Who’s the King?
Laker Girls: You are!
A.R.T.H.U.R. Arthur!
Who is next to enlist?
Dennis!
Dennis!
Patsy: Who is?
Laker Girls: Dennis!
Patsy and Girls: The Lady of the Lake will make him a man,
If she can’t do it, nobody can!
Arthur: Who will he be?
Laker Girls: G.A.L.A.H.A.D!
G! A! L! A! H! A!...
Mrs Galahad: D?!
The Song That Goes Like This
Galahad: Once in every show,
There comes a song like this,
It starts off soft and low,
And ends up with a kiss.
Oh, where is the song that goes like this?
(spoken) Where is it? Where? Where?
Lady: A sentimental song,
That casts a magic spell.
They all will hum along,
We'll overact like hell.
Oh, this is the song that goes like this!
Galahad: (spoken) Yes, it is.
Lady: (spoken) Yes, it is.
Galahad: (spoken) Yes, it is!
Lady: (spoken) Yes, it is!
Galahad: Now we can go straight,
Into the middle eight,
A bridge that is too far for me.
Lady: I'll sing it in your face,
While we both embrace.
Both: And then we change the key!
Galahad: (falsetto) Now we're into E!
(coughs) That's awfully high for me!
Lady: But as everyone can see,
We should have stayed in D.
Both: For this is our song that goes like this!
Galahad: I'm feeling very proud!
Lady: You're singing far too loud.
Galahad: That's the way that this song goes.
Lady: You're standing on my toes.
Both: Singing our song that goes like this!
Lady: I can't believe there's more!
Galahad: It's far too long, I'm sure.
Lady: That's the trouble with this song,
It goes on and on and on!
Both: For this is our song that is too long!
(Together)
(Galahad: (spoken) Jesus Christ! God damn it!)
(Lady: (spoken) Good God!)
Lady: We'll be singing this til dawn!
Galahad: You'll wish that you weren't born!
Lady: Let's stop this damn refrain,
Both: Before we go insane!
The song always ends like this!
He is Not Yet Dead - Play Off
Lancelot: I don't know, but it's been said,
Ensemble: I don't know, but it's been said,
Lancelot: We're off to war, we're not yet dead!
Ensemble: We're off to war, we're not yet dead!
Lancelot: Become a knight and you'll go far,
Ensemble: Become a knight and you'll go far,
Lancelot: In suspenders and a bra!
Ensemble: In suspenders and a... bra?
All For One
Historian: (spoken) And so, King Arthur gathered his Knights together, bringing from all the corners of the Kingdom the strongest and bravest in the land to sit at the Round Table.
The strangely flatulent Sir Bedevere; The dasingly handsome Sir Galahad; The homicidally brave Sir Lancelot; Sir Robin the Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Lancelot, who slew the vicious Chicken of Bristol and who personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon Hill. And the aptly named Sir Not-Appearing-In-This-Show.
Sir Not-Apperaring-In-This-Show: (spoken) Sorry!
Historian: (spoken) Together they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold throughout the Centuries;
The Knights of the Round Table!
Knights: All for one,
One for all.
All for one,
And one for all.
Bedevere: Some for some,
Galahad: None for none,
Robin: Slightly less for people we don't like,
Lancelot: And a little bit more for me!
Knight: All round this blightly land,
We are his mighty band,
Oooo!
Arthur: Oooo!
Knights: King Arthur's strongest knights,
We are prepared to fight,
Whooo-ever!
All for one,
Two for all.
All for some,
And free for all!
Knights of the Round Table/The Song That Goes Like This (Reprise)
Girls: Camelot!
The town that never sleeps,
It's Camelot!
Knights: We're Knights of the Round Table,
We dance when e're we're able.
We do routines and chorus scenes,
With footwork impecc-able.
We dine well here in Camelot,
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot!
We're Knights of the Round Table,
Our shows are for-mid-able.
But many times, we're given rythmes,
That are quite unsing-able.
We're opera mad in Camelot,
We sing from the diaphragm a lot!
We're Knights of the Round Table,
Although we live a fable.
We're not just bums,
With royal mums,
We've brains that are quite a-ble.
We've a busy life in Camelot.
Solo: I have to push the pram a lot.
Arthur: (spoken) Ladies and gentlemen; The Lady of the Lake.
Lady: (spoken) Thank you, Thank you so much.
Once in every show,
There comes a song like...
This, it starts off soft and low,
And ends up with a kiss,
Oh, where,
Where where where,
Where where where,
Where where where where where where where,
Is the song that goes like this?
Goes like this?
A sentimental song,
That cast a magic spell.
They will all hum along,
And we'll all overact, overact like hell!
'Cos this is the song,
Yes, this is the song,
Oh, this is the song that goes... (scats)
Like... (scats)
Arthur: (scats)
Lady: They're Knights of the Round Table,
Arthur: They dance when e'er they're able.
Lady: They're Knights,
Arthur: Not days, but Knights.
Both: Not dawn, not dusk,
Not late afternoon,
But Knights of the Round Table!
Round Table!
Round Table!
Round Table!
All: Round Table!
Round Table!
Round Table!
Round Table!
So try your luck in Camelot,
Run amok in Camelot,
It doesn't suck in Camelot,
(spoken) We won!
We're Knights of the Round Table,
We dance when e'er we're able.
We do routines and gory scenes,
That are to hot for cable!
We eat ham and jam,
We eat ham and jam and spam a lot!
All: (spoken) Spamalot!
Find Your Grail
Lady: If you trust in your soul,
Keep your eyes on the goal.
Then the prize you won't fail,
That's your grail,
That's your grail!
So be strong, keep right on,
To the end of your song.
Do not fail,
Find your grail,
Find your grail,
Find your grail!
Life is really up to you,
You must choose what to pursue, oh yeah!
Set your mind on what to find,
And there's nothin' you can't do!
So keep right to the end,
You'll find your goal my friend.
You won't fail,
Find your grail,
Find your grail,
Find your grail!
Ensemble: Find your grail,
Find your grail!
Arthur: When your life seems to drift,
When we all need a lift.
Trim your sail, you won't fail,
Find your grail!
Find your grail!
Life is really up to you,
You must choose what to pursue.
Set your mind on what to find...
Lady: And there's nothin' you can't do,
You can't do!
Ensemble: So keep right to the end,
You'll find your goal, my friend,
(Find your friend!)
You won't fail,
Find your grail,
Find your grail,
Find your grail!
Run Away!
French Guard: (spoken) Fetchez la vache!
Arthur: (spoken) Run away!
Robin: (spoken) Run away!
Galahad: (spoken) Run away?
Bedevere: (spoken) Run away!
Knights: (spoken) Run away!
Run away! Run Away!
Arthur: Run away from the stench and the trenches!
Knights: Run away! Run Away!
Bedevere: From these horrible, nasty old Frenchies!
Robin: These frogs and their terrible prattle, are fighting a battle with cattle!
Galahad: We're all full of fear so let's get out of here!
Knights: Run away, run away, run away!
French Guards: You English all are buggerfolk,
Your mothers all are ruggerfolk,
Your army is a bloody joke,
You couldn't beat an artichoke.
If battle you choose to renew,
We'll taunt you 'til you all turn blue.
We turn our asses, as you part,
In your direction we all fart!
French Guard: (spoken) Fetchez le can-can dancers!
Knights: Run away! Run away!
Run away! Run-run-run-run-run-run-run away!
Run away! Run away! Run away, run away!
Run away!
Run away! Run away!
Arthur: It seems like a helpful solution,
Knights: Run away! Run away!
Arthur: To avoid this French revolution!
We're stuck in a nasty position,
Why don't you take a short intermission?
Have a drink and a pee, we'll be back for Act Three...
Patsy: Two, sir.
Arthur: Two...
Knights: Run away, run away!
Run away, run away!
Run away, run-run-run-run-run away!
Run away!
The Intermission
Voice: (spoken) The intermission...
Historian's Introduction to Act II
Historian: (spoken) Defeat, at the castle in Act I, seems to have utterly disheartened King Arthur. The ferocity of the French taunting took him completely by surprise. King Arthur and his knights fled for their lives, and were instantly scattered and lost in a dark and very expensive forest...
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life
Arthur: (spoken) This is a total bloody disaster! All my knights have fled, and we're lost in a dark and very expensive forest.
Patsy: (spoken) Well, it could be worse.
Arthur: (spoken) Oh, how could it possibly be worse?
Patsy: (spoken) Oh, cheer up, sire. You know what they say?
Arthur: (spoken) What do they say, Patsy?
Patsy: Some things in life are bad,
They can really make you mad,
Other things just make you swear and curse.
When you're chewing on life's gristle,
Don't grumble, give a whistle,
And this'll help things turn out for the best.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
Always look on the light side of life.
(spoken) You give it a try.
Arthur: (tries, and fails, to whistle)
Patsy: If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing.
And...
Ensemble: Always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
Always look on the light side of life. (whistle)
Patsy: For life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word,
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Forget about your sin, give the audience a grin,
Enjoy it, it's your last chance anyhow.
Arthur: Always look on the bright side of death. (whistle)
Just before you draw your terminal breath. (whistle)
Life's a piece of shit,
When you look at it.
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.
Patsy: You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughing as you go
Arthur: Just remember that the last laugh is on you.
Ensemble: And always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
Always look on the right side of life. (whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.
Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the right side of life.
Always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
Always look on the right side of life. (whistle)
Both: Life is quite absurd,
And death's the final word,
You must always face the curtain with a bow.
Arthur: (spoken) Excuse me, is that a shrubbery?
Woman: (spoken) Oh, yes! I'm throwing it out. The cat won't leave it alone.
Arthur: (spoken) What a stroke of luck! I'll take it off your hands. Pay the lady, Patsy.
Both: Always look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the bright side of life.
Side of life!
Side of life!
Brave Sir Robin
Minstrel: Bravely bold Sir Robin rode forth from Camelot.
He was not afraid to die, O brave Sir Robin.
He was not at all afraid to be killed in nasty ways,
Brave, brave, brave, brave Sir Robin!
He was not in the least bit scared to be mashed into a pulp,
Or to have his eyes gouged out and his elbows broken,
To have his kneecaps split and his body burned away,
And his limbs all hacked and mangled, brave Sir Robin!
His head smashed in and his heart cut out,
And his liver removed and his bowels unplugged,
And his nostrils raped and his bottom burned off,
And his penis split...
Robin: (spoken) That's... that's enough music for now, lads.
You Won't Succeed on Broadway
Arthur: (spoken) Have you heard of this "Broadway?"
Robin: (spoken) Yes sire, and we don't stand a chance there.
Arthur: (spoken) Why not?
Robin: (spoken) Because Broadway is a very special place, filled with very special people, people who can sing and dance, often at the same time! They are a different people, a multi-talented people, a people who need people and who are, in many ways, the luckiest people in the world. I'm sorry sire, but we don't have a chance.
Arthur: (spoken) But why?
Robin: (spoken) Well, let me put it like this.
In any great adventure,
If you don't want to lose,
Victory depends upon the poeple that you choose.
So, listen, Arthur darling, closely to this news:
We won't succeed on Broadway,
If we don't have any Jews.
You may have the finest sets,
Fill the stage with penthouse pets,
You may have the loveliest costumes and best shoes.
You my dance and you may sing,
But I'm sorry, Arthur king,
You'll hear no cheers,
Just lots and lots of boos.
Minstrels:"Boo".
Robin: You mahve have butch men by the score
Whom the audience adore,
You may even have some animals from zoos.
Minstrels: (animal sounds)
Robin: Though you've holes and krauts instead,
You may have unlevened bread,
But I tell you, you are dead,
If you don't have any Jews.
They won't care if it's witty,
Or everything looks pretty,
They'll simply say it's shitty and refuse.
Nobody will go, sir,
If it's not kosher then no show, sir,
Even Goyem won't be dim enough to choose!
Put on shows that make men stare,
With lots of girls in underwear,
You may even have the finest of reviews.
Critic: You're doing great!
Robin: The audiences won't care, sir,
As long as you don't dare, sir,
To open up on Broadway,
All: If we don't have any Jews.
Robin: You may have dramatic lighting,
Or lots of horrid fighting,
You may even have some white men sing the blues!
Your knights might be nice boys,
But sadly we're all goys,
And that noise that you call singing you must lose.
So, despite your pretty lights,
And naughty girls in nasty tights,
And the most impressive scenery you use.
You may have dancing mana-mano,
You may bring on a piano,
But they will not give a damn-o
If you don't have any Jews!
Ensemble: "Hay"!
Robin: You may fill your plays with gays,
Have Nigerian girls in stays,
Girls: You may even have some schizas making stews!
Robin: You haven't got a clue,
If you don't have a Jew,
All of your investments you are going to lose!
There's a very small percentile,
Who enjoys a dancing gentile,
I'm sad to be the one with this bad news!
But never mind your swordplay,
You just won't succeed on Broadway,
You just don't succeed on Broadway,
If you don't have any Jews!
(spoken) Arthur, can you hear me?
To get along on Broadway,
To sing a song on Broadway,
To hit the top on Broadway and not lose,
I tell you, Arthur king,
There is one essential thing:
There simply must be, simply must be Jews.
There simply must be,
Arthur trust me,
Simply must be Jews.
Diva's Lament
Lady: What ever happened to my part?
It was exciting at the start.
Now we're halfway through act two,
And I've had nothing yet to do.
I've been offstage for far too long.
It's ages since I had a song.
This is one unhappy diva,
The producers have deceived her!
There is nothing I can sing from my heart.
Whatever happened to my part?
I am sick of my career,
Always stuck second gear.
Up to here, with frustration and with fears.
I've no Grammy, no rewards,
I've no Tony Award.
I'm constantly replaced with Britney Spears.
Laker Girls: Britney Spears!
Lady: Whatever happened to my show?
I was a hit, now I don't know.
I'm with a bunch of British knights,
Prancing 'round in woolly tights.
I might as well go to the pub.
They've been out searching for a shrub!
Out shopping for a bush,
Well they can kiss my tush!
It seems to me they've really lost the plot!
Whatever happened to my...
I'll call my agent, damn it!
Whatever happened to my...
Not yours! Not yours!
But my... (breathes in)
Part!
Where Are You?
Herbert: Where are you? Where are you?
Where are you, my heart's desire?
My heart is true, but where are you?
Only you can quench the fire.
Where are you? Where are you...
Father: (spoken) Stop it! Stop that! Stop all that singing!
Herbert: (spoken) I knew someone would come!
I knew that somewhere out there, there must be...
Here are you! Here are you!
Here are you, Sir Lancelot!
Father: (spoken) Stop that! Stop it! Stop it! Who are you?
Herbert: (spoken) I'm your son.
Father: (spoken) Not you!
His Name is Lancelot
Herbert: Lancelot you might as well just fess up,
Really you're a different kind of guy.
Move aside your scabbard,
For underneath your tabard,
There is waiting to escape a butterfly!
Ensemble: His name is Lancelot,
And in tight pants a lot,
He likes to dance a lot.
You know you do!
Lancelot: (spoken) I do?
Ensemble: So just say thanks a lot,
And try romance, it's hot!
Let's find out who's really you.
His name is Lancelot,
He visits France a lot.
He likes to dance a lot and dream.
No one would ever know,
That this outrageous pro,
Bats for the other team.
Herbert: You're a knight who really likes his night life,
And by day you really like to play.
You can all find him pumping at the gym,
At the Camelot Y.M.C.A.!
Ensemble: His name is Lancelot,
(La, la, la.)
Just watch him dance a lot,
(La, la, la.)
He doesn't care what people say.
(La, la, la.)
Lancelot: (spoken) No way!
Ensemble: For when he starts to dance,
(La, la, la.)
Just grab your underpants!
(La, la, la.)
Herbert: He can finally come out and say that he is G.A...
All: Y.M.C.A.
He's gay!
Lancelot: (spoken) Ok!
I'm All Alone
Arthur: I'm all alone,
All by myself,
There is no one here beside me.
I'm all alone,
Quite, all alone,
No one to comfort me or guide me.
Why is there no one here with me,
On the long and winding road,
To lift my heavy load?
If there were someone here with me,
How happy I would be.
But I'm alone,
Quite all alone,
All by myself I'm all alone.
I'm all alone.
Patsy: He's all alone.
Arthur: All by myself.
Patsy: Except for me.
Arthur: I cannot face tomorrow.
Patsy: He cannot face it.
Arthur: I'm all alone.
Patsy: Though I am here.
Arthur: So all alone.
Patsy: So very near.
Arthur: No one to share my sorrow.
Patsy: You know, it seems quite clear to me,
Because I'm working class,
I am just the horses ass.
He sells me down the river,
So what am I; Chopped liver?
Arthur: But I'm alone,
Patsy: Oh no, you're not!
Arthur: So all alone.
Patsy: I'm here you twot!
Arthur: All by myself I'm all alone.
Knights: He's all alone.
Arthur: I'm all alone!
Knights: All by himself.
Arthur: All by myself!
Knights: There is no one here beside him.
He's all alone.
Arthur: So all alone!
Knights: Apart from us,
No one to comfort him or guide him.
Arthur: Each one of us is all alone.
So what are we to do,
In order to get through?
We must be lonely side by side,
It's a perfect way to hide.
Knights: We're all alone!
Arthur: We're all alone!
Knights: Yes, all alone!
Arthur: So all alone.
Each by ourselves,
We're all alone.
Twice in Every Show
Lady: (spoken) But you're not alone, Arthur! Haven't you noticed? I've been with you all the time! Who gave you the sword? Who made you king? Who helped you find the quest? Sure, I've been offstage for far too long! But, we had that great lounge number in act one.
And, oh, we do scat great together! No, no, I'm no Patsy. But I am here to help you, and I always have been!
Arthur: (spoken) And you really want me?
Lady: (spoken) More than ever!
Both: Twice in every show!
There comes a song like this!
It starts off soft and low,
And ends up with a kiss.
Oh, this is the scene,
That ends like this.
Lady: (spoken) Find the grail, Arthur! And when you do, I'll be there waiting for you! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!
Act II Finale
Arthur: (spoken) Lady, will you marry me?
Lady: (spoken) I thought you'd never ask.
Girls: We are not yet wed,
And we're nearly at the end.
It is time that we,
Went and found a friend.
Is there someone who,
Can help us in out quest?
We're already dressed,
Although we're not yet wed.
Men: We are not yet dead,
That’s the best that could be said.
We are not yet dead,
So we might as well get wed.
Could it be much worse,
Is marriage such a curse?
Might as well get married,
Cos we are not yet wed.
Herbert: (spoken) So you see it’s all a show, happy ending and all. And that just makes me want to sing…
When you’re lost,
On life’s trail,
And you feel doomed to fail.
Do not fail,
Find your male,
Find your male,
That’s your grail!
Lancelot: (spoken) Just think Herbert, in a thousand years time this will still be controversial.
Robin: (spoken) And I too have found my grail.
Ensemble: (spoken) What’s that?
Robin: (spoken) Musical Theatre!
You can sing,
You can dance,
And you won’t soil your pants!
In your white tie and tails,
Find your grail!
Find your grail!
Ensemble: Hallelujah a Broadway wedding!
Both (Arthur and Lady): So be strong,
Ensemble: Here comes the bride!
Both: Keep right on.
Ensemble: Here comes the groom!
Both: To the end of your song.
Ensemble: Hallelujah!
Lady: Do not fail,
Find your male!
Arthur: Dressed in mail,
Find your grail!
Emsemble: Sing Hallelujah,
They’ve found their grail!
Arthur: Life is really up to you,
You must choose what to pursue.
Ensemble: A Broadway wedding!
Lady: Set your mind on what to find,
And there’s nothing you can’t do!
All: Go and find your grail!
Both: So keep right to the end,
You’ll find your goal my friend!
Ensemble: Find you friend!
Both: Then the prize you won’t fail,
Find your grail!
All: Find your grail!
Father: (spoken) Stop that. Stop that. Stop it! No more bloody singing…
(Clunk)
All: For this is the show that ends like this!
Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - Company Bow
All: Everybody!
Always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
Always look on the right side of life. (whistle)
If life seems jolly rotten,
There's something you've forgotten,
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.
When you're feeling in the dumps,
Don't be silly chumps,
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing.
And...
Always look on the bright side of life. (whistle)
Always look on the bright side of life.
Side of life!
Side of life!
Company bow!
